OK Fresch let’s talk about your psychological problems instead of mine shall we. The following is not intended to be an attack, but rather simply the truth of things as I see it. What else to do?
You have a very powerful image of Amrito and Osho as symbols of your ‘father’ in your mind. You love them as you would your ideal male archetype. The resort is an extension of them and so it is also of deep importance to you. This is an image that you want to protect at all costs.
If someone says something that looks like it is criticising this image, then you will defend the image at all costs. The problem is that this is simply a powerful image of an ideal in your mind. You have a strong bond or connection with Amrito, with Osho, and with the resort. This has helped create the image. The problem is that because you desire or long to melt with your ideal, this very desire transforms the image into something that becomes out of touch with the reality that created it. You desire to melt with a father figure, and for sure losing your dad when you were young means that this desire runs very deep.
The deep desire is the primary property of your image. The desire feeds the image and makes it look ever so heavenly beautiful. You will no doubt have a physical image of Osho, of Amrito, and of the resort that is a powerful mind projection fuelled by this desire. Once the desire drops the image loses its magic in a strange way. Amrito will look quite ordinary then, and you will just think he is not so special anymore. Still, once you see Amrito as he is and the resort as it is, they will be simply a reflection in your awareness not a seemingly endless desire in your mind. Yes your ideas about certain things will lose their gloss, but these objects will no longer have any power over you, and you will have gained your silent centre.
The pattern of excessive mental projection out of desire is like an over-ride in the mind. The mind is no longer available to think about other things. Even to consider that your beautiful mental image may have a few blemishes is inconceivable because it is so precious. The confusion is that it is only precious because you desire it to be precious. This is why they say vipassana is to see things clearly or to see things as they are. The desire fed mental imagine that we spend our whole life viewing and protecting is a mental fiction.
There are some various serious questions about the conduct of the management at the resort. When I say this you do not believe me. You say that I am on my own mental trip and I am here on SannyasNews just doing a little catharsis. The reason why you say this is because you need to defend your precious image. You view what I am saying as a threat to this image. Yet, you do not actually have a mental understanding of the content of what I am saying. There is a little program in your mind that runs beneath the surface of your mind as your read what I am writing here. The little program says essentially that I am on a mental trip and need a little therapy. Because this program is running, and because your mental energy is pouring into your precious image of Osho, Amrito, and the resort, there is no space to actually process what I am writing. Certainly there is no space to actually gather the basic facts that are available, and process them into a rational understanding.
Shantam is doing the same when he is making light of the terrorist issue, and refusing to consider that Jayesh and Amrito and others may be seriously dysfunctional at a practical managerial level. He has move a little in his understanding and let go of a little of his precious image (imagination) of Osho. This is also evident in his sardonic little post above.
We cannot travel inwards if the outer world is always demanding our attention. Every human being has a built in survival function. If that function is activated then the energy is going out. That is why doing a vipassana retreat in a space that does not feel safe is a contradiction. As you sit silently the reality that the place is not safe will keep entering your mind. In this way you will not be able to meditate. It is natural that this be the case, but it is not much good if you are going to a meditation resort.
Safe Travels
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