Here it is, twenty years of throwing tanties is gonna be solved in a monsoon long group at the Osho Resort in Pune. The Chairmen Mao inspired compulsory de-education group, called Anti Tanti Neo Nanno Osho Hanky Panky shall primarily be conducted in a cloud of total secrecy in the third basement of the Auditorium by none other than Black Robber Fresch as a Truolip, with the aid of ground-cutting insight from Hapless Helper Krackpot Kranti.
Breakfast:
Miso soup made from freshly contaminated drinking water, complete with oversized glowing green insects from the resorts very own organic farm.
Please note that someone has stolen the ownership rights of the farm from the Pune resort, and so therefore the organic insects cannot be guaranteed to actually be organic. Check Osho.com for further details.
To wash down your miso soup there will be an endless supply of top-shelf spirits, complete with ice from the resorts very own contaminated drinking water.
Morning Therapy:
Encounter of the Rugby (Football) Scrum-packs. For the “orange-shirts” we have Keerti and Swami Rajneesh as front-row forwards, and Neelam as hooker. The rest of the pack will be made up of everyone from Viha and Boulder that has not changed sides by the start of the encounter. Of course you are free to change sides once you pack in for the scrum.
For the “maroon-shirts” we have of course Dhyanesh and Jailesh as front-row forwards, and Amrito as hooker. The rest of the pack is of course a secret because it will comprise the unknown number of anonymous current Inner-Circle members.
I have yet to work out which side Abhay is on, so will have to get back to you on that one.
Tomorrow night during White-Robe I will announce the detailed functioning of the event. Please note that this may change if I get a directive from Jailesh to shut up.
Lunch: Same as breakfast, but with more alcohol.
Afternoon Therapy:
Tantra for the Tanties. Please note that for this exercise you can still wear your orange or maroon shirts, but, as you will find out, there is no need for excessively burdensome undergarments or chastity belts. If you would like to go deeper with your soul-mate she/he is also welcome to join in the affairs.
If your beloved chooses not to participate, let me here take the special opportunity to assure him/her that your purity of spirit shall not be compromised in any way.
All exercises shall be carried out in the sewer….oops, mountain stream that runs through the resort. Warning: Do get totally carried away with the Tantie Tantra exercises because this aids the process of toxic sludge….oops, Himalayan minerals seeping into the underground water table. From there the delicious mix of Himalayan minerals goes straight into your miso soup. You will then find the miso soup much more filling.
Actually I just have word from Doc Amrito that what I previously said about him announcing detailed functioning in White-Robe tomorrow night actually never happened. You got it, the details have been dehypnotised from my memory, and you can no longer read what I previously wrote on the subject (as you have also just been dehypnotised).
For the next twenty years or till the start of the monsoon (whichever comes sooner), there will be no further comment, not even to comment that I did comment and then deleted the comment, or even to comment that that may also have been a comment. Oops I better shut up else Jailesh will be giving me a few comments of his own. Please note that that was not actually a comment, it was rather, a mild indiscretion, based on a rare crack in my powerful field of awareness. Ahh that’s better, I have just re-tuned in to Planet Osho’s vibe.
Dinner: Same as lunch except with more alcohol.
From dinner we will go on a pub-crawl that alternates between the Blue Diamond and the O-hotel, until we either pass out or it is time for brekky.
Finally, the group shall end when the last of the mango rains has complete flooded all the neighbouring residential estates because the sewer….ooops, mountain stream has been blocked by an unusual combination of foreign particulate matter and Tantric Tantie participants.
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